Not Alone
by TheLovelyRusher
Summary: "They were warm in each other's arms, knowing that they weren't alone." Carlos loses his hero. Short, sad Carlos drabble.


**A/N Hey guys! So I was looking through notebooks filled with BTR fic that I forgot I even wrote a year ago, and Twisted Illusions encouraged me to post one! This was pretty much the first fic I ever wrote for BTR, I wrote it at the same time as "I'm Not Alright" but I chose the latter fic instead of this one to post as my first. So, it's short and not very good, (no real character development or storyline) but when I wrote it I remember being very emotional for some reason and it pretty much wrote itself. So I really hope you enjoy it! I wrote this while listening to "Not Alone" by RED (how many of you predicted that lol) so I strongly suggest you listen to it while reading it! **

17-year-old Carlos Garcia had never been to a funeral before, and he certainly never thought his first would be his dad's.

But there he was, standing not 10 feet from a 6-foot hole in the ground, dressed all in black with a tear-streaked face. He could not tear his eyes off of the dark, wooden coffin suspended above that hole, no matter how badly he wanted to. He desired to look at anything but the coffin; the rain-filled sky, the sobbing congregation that met to say their final farewells to their beloved friend.

But he couldn't, because in that casket laid his father. His daddy. His papi. His _hero_. Lying motionless, unbreathing. Just the body and not the soul and it was all the young boy could do to not run. Run from the graveyard, away from the coffin, away from his sobbing mother to someplace where he could make a deal with the God he so faithfully trusted for his entire innocent childhood. God would never do this to Carlos and his family. They had gone to church every Sunday, prayed every night, and loved without boundaries. God knew how much Carlos loved and needed his Papi, so why would He take him away like that?

Carlos felt a strong arm wrap around his quivering shoulders and a surge of protection wave over him, and he didn't have to look up to know it was James who held him. The tall, strong brunette had been at Carlos' side throughout the entire ordeal, along with Kendall and Logan, just making their comforting presence known since they were at a loss for words, having never dealt with something like this in their young lives.

Carlos took in a gasp of air and huddled closer to James' solid stature when the coffin that held his father slowly started lowering into the ground. It was the single most earth-shattering moment Carlos ever experience. The Latino was overcome with grief and denial, so much that he was delusional. Suddenly, he started to twist and writhe in James' grasp, taking the brunette by surprise.

"_Papi no! That's my Papi! You can't take him!"_ Carlos yelled, causing all watery eyes surrounding the burial site to stare at the young boy in pity and alarm. His mother broke down in sobs and her parents struggled to comfort her as Carlos continued to scream for his father to come back, while Kendall and Logan assisted James in holding him back. Logan looked like he was ready to burst into tears and Kendall kept his face stony and blank, sure signs that the 2 boys were extremely distraught.

"_PAPI!_" Carlos screeched, so loudly and harshly that his voice cut off and he started coughing and choking on his sobs. His knees gave out from under him as his entire world was taken from him. His father's coffin was no longer visible and James slowly lowered the grief-stricken boy to the damp grass. Kendall and Logan joined James in forming a protective, tight, warm circle around the shaking boy.

"My daddy! My daddy is in there!" Carlos yelled, trying to rip himself away from his friends, but they refused to let go.

"He's gone Carlos," Logan said. His voice was filled with tears and pain for his youngest friend. "He's gone."

Carlos wailed, too weak to fight against his friends anymore. He leaned into their embraces and sobbed, exhaustion quickly overtaking him. His small body went limp in James' arms, and the brunette carefully lifted the overwrought boy to his chest and gestured to the limo by the gravesite, silently letting his friends know that it was time to go. James carried Carlos into the car and laid him gently in his lap.

"Is he going to be ok?" Logan asked Kendall, his brown eyes blown wide with fear.

Kendall watched Carlos sleep for a moment. He was still crying, even in his lips. Fat tears rolled down his scarlet cheeks and he let out strangled whimpers every now and then. Kendall ran his slender fingers through Carlos' short, dark curls before admitting, "I don't know, Logie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BTR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was past midnight at the Garcia household. James, Logan and Kendall were the only ones still awake. They sat around the one warm fire, watching the flames lick and flicker as they tried to figure out in their minds what had happened that day. The funeral had been surreal. Everyone who walked around sending out their condolences almost seemed like apparitions. The sound of sobbing and distraught wails continued to echo in their ears. Nothing seemed to be real. It had been like they were walking through somebody else's nightmare.

"We should go to bed," Kendall finally croaked. His voice was a bit harsh from crying. He had tried his best to hold it in as long as he could, but when Carlos woke up in a fit of sobs a couple hours ago, he had broken down right after he lulled the Latino back to sleep.

James lifted his head from where it had been resting on his knees and looked up at Kendall with puffy, blood-shot eyes, wondering how his leader truly expected him to be able to sleep after such a night. Mr. Garcia had always been like a second father to all of them, and he was mourning the loss strongly.

"Come on buddy, we need to be strong for Carlos when he wakes up, and we can't do that if we don't get some sleep," Kendall said. James sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Kendall was right, of course.

"Ok, let's go," James said. He turned to where Logan sat next to him to find the little brunette fast asleep, his head drooping to his chest. "Oh, Logie…"

"I got him," Kendall said. He picked Logan up bridal style and led the way down the familiar hall to where Carlos' bedroom was. They quietly crept in and even with the lights off, Kendall immediately sensed something was wrong.

"Carlos, where's Carlos?" Kendall asked frantically. James threw on the lights to find Carlos' racecar bed messy and empty. His heart started pounding and he feared he would drop Logan when his arms became weak with panic. His initial thought was maybe Carlos had simply gone to the bathroom, but his window was all the way opened. Wind and rain battered the sill and carpeting. James ran to the window and stuck his head out into the stormy night.

"Carlos!" The brunette yelled helplessly. Logan stirred against Kendall's chest and woke up.

"What's going on?" The pale boy asked weakly.

"Carlos, he's missing," Kendall said. "I think he ran away!"

"No, no this can't be happening," James chanted, pressing his knuckles to his temple in frustration. "He was just here!"

"We have to find him," Logan said. "He's too vulnerable right now, he's not thinking clearly. His mind is clouded with grief, who knows what he's capable of."

"Logan's right, we have to go _now_," Kendall said, setting Logan to his feet but still keeping a firm grip on his small wrist. The blonde pulled him to the living room, where the trio quickly put on scarves and jackets and shoes to shield themselves from the wind.

"Carlos is in just his pajamas," Logan said, grabbing the Latino's jacket from off of the coat hooks.

"He can't have gone far," Kendall said with authority as he led the other boys out the front door and into the sharp, heavy rain. "It's cold out here and he has no shoes or transportation."

They walked briskly down the empty street, never ceasing to call out Carlos' name desperately. Each boy felt increasingly panicked and guilty. They couldn't help but think that if they had just stayed with Carlos, he would have never gone missing.

"Where is he?" James asked after 45 minutes of walking around the desolate, sleepy town. He fell onto his butt on the sidewalk and smashed his face into his wet, shaking hands. "Where's my little brother?"

"We checked everywhere he could be," Kendall said, holding back a shiver. The rain was starting to soak through his wool coat. He adjusted his hood and brought his coat around him tighter. "It's freezing. Maybe we should go home and call the police."

"No, not 'til we find him," James said, terrified of thought of giving up on finding Carlos themselves. The Latino was known to be reckless, dangerous even. He rarely thought anything through before doing.

Logan looked up at the pouring sky. The rain had lighting up a bit, but not much. He closed his eyes and concentrated on where Carlos could be.

"I know where he is," Logan suddenly said. "I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Follow me guys." He led the boys down a couple of blocks and pointed to the same cemetery that they had spent the afternoon at. "How much you wanna bet he's in there?"

James and Kendall didn't answer. The 3 just looked at each other with eyes filled to the brim with hope. They ran towards the graveyard entrance and hopped the chain link, than sprinted through the cemetery, dodging and jumping over headstones as they called Carlos' name.

Logan remembered exactly where Mr. Garcia had been buried and that was where they found Carlos, curled up on top of the fresh soil in a sobbing heap. His hands clung tightly to the freezing granite of Mr. Garcia's ornately engraved headstone.

"Carlos?" Logan asked timidly. He slowly outstretched his arm and placed his hand on Carlos' shoulder blade, expecting the Latino to jump with fright. But instead, Carlos was oblivious to the fact that Logan was there, as he was too lost in his own world of the pain and sorrow that was eating away at him.

"Carlos, you ok baby?" Logan asked gently. He ran his fingertips along Carlos' spine comfortingly. Suddenly, Carlos swung around and wrapped his feeble arms around Logan's soaking frame, sobbing into his chest.

"Daddy! Daddy you came back!" Carlos cried, clutching onto the body who he thought was his fathers. Logan froze in shock, his eyes darting over to Kendall, who looked equally shocked, for help.

"I missed you Papi," Carlos whispered, his cries starting to quiet down.

"Ssh, ssh, don't cry," Logan cooed. "I need you to look at me Carlos, look at me." Logan carefully pried Carlos from his chest and looked into his innocent, lost eyes. "It's me, Carlitos. It's Logan. James and Kendall are here, too."

Carlos sniffled and hiccupped, looking around his surroundings, confused. He shook his head while slowly scooting away from Logan.

"Papi no," Carlos wailed. His sobs started right back up again and he turned back to the gravestone. He coughed and yelled out for his dad, making his friends flinch. They had no idea what to do. They could only watch as the heart broken boy started to claw at the wet, soft dirt with his fingernails.

"Carlos no," Kendall said, trying to stop the Latino from digging the grave up. Carlos yelped and shoved Kendall away, then threw aside a couple of handfuls of dirt.

"Carlos, please stop!" James pleaded, not sure how much of this scene he could take. He grabbed Carlos' wrists and shook away the dirt from his shaky grasp.

"No, leave me alone!" Carlos cried. "I can't do this, I need him back! I need my daddy! Bring him back James, bring him back!

"I can't," James said tearfully. He silently cursed whatever God did this to his innocent, beautiful little brother.

Carlos ripped his arms away from James and took another handful of rain-sodden dirt, determined to find his dad again.

"You can't do that Carlos!" Kendall yelled. He wrapped Carlos in a vice grip, pulling the little boy away from the grave and into his lap, than gave his struggling body a somewhat rough shake. "Snap out of it, 'Litos! I got you, buddy. I got you and I'm not going to let you. I am _never_ going to let you go, do you understand me? I've got you, baby." Kendall repeated his words over and over again until Carlos finally gave up on the fight. His entire, wet body shuddered with deep, soul-shaking sobs. Once the grieving boy was still, Logan and James wrapped their arms around Kendall and Carlos' body. The quartet held each onto each other tightly, gasping for air between cries. The vicious, pouring rain soon let up, but left behind a chilling wind. The boys stayed there all night and sheltered each other, no words to be said. There wasn't a single word that could make it better. Only their cries could be heard, but they were warm in each other's arms, knowing that they weren't alone.

**A/N Please review and tell me what you thought! I really hope you liked it! Merci!**

**Oh ps, I feel like I made the characters diss God a bit in this. You all know that I walk with God every day, so that was solely the characters views, not mine, as I tried to make this realistic. **


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